How To Choose A Vibrator

How To Choose a Vibrator

Are you curious about vibrators, but have no idea how to choose a vibrator that is best for you?   Then, you’ve come to the right place.

In this guide, I will walk you through everything you need to know to choose the vibrator that’s right for you.

Let’s get into it…

You Gotta Be Kidding Me...

Much to my surprise, I know several female friends ages 40 to 55 who have never owned or achieved an orgasm using external stimulation of any kind. 

Even typing this, it’s tough for me to comprehend this information as I’ve been engaged with vibrator use since I was 16. 

So imagine my shock to know that there are folks who have never touched any sex toy. 

I want that to be a non-existent thing, that everyone has access to achieve pleasure on their terms. 

Hopefully, some of the statements and questions below can help guide you to narrow down some selections that will best suit you.

vibrators for women

How Will You Use A Vibrator?

  • Like everything else in our lives, our needs & wants sometimes change as we enter new phases. 

David and I are in a new love phase but have very open, candid conversations about everything, including sex! 

Our openness & vulnerability to one another leave me feeling so secure that I have not wanted to touch my toys without him since we became serious. 

I never thought I’d be with someone. I didn’t feel the need to masturbate without a partner. That may change, but for now, my need for my vibrator is used with him. 

When determining how to choose a vibrator, consider how your toy will be used. Will it be mainly solo with a partner or a combination? 

If using mainly with a partner, are there some models or features that could include your partner, like double stimulation for you both? 

Maybe there are options where they may be the driver, but if you’re flying solo, think about :

  • Where would you like to use it 
  • Do you prefer bathtub use
  • If it’s electronic, ensure it’s waterproof, not just water resistant.

Check out our article, Best Vibrators for People Over 50 for a comprehensive vibrator look. 

Are You Concerned About How It Looks?

Some could care less what their toys look like, and some think aesthetics are important. 

I couldn’t care less as long as the quality & outcome I desire are there; it could be purple with zebra stripes and polka dots for all I care. 

The feeling is what is more important to me. Perhaps you want it to match your room’s decor or bedding; with so many options today, one hardly lacks selection options. 

If looking into dildos, do the large veined ones freak you out or turn you on? Does the skin tone matter to you? 

When choosing a vibrator, would you prefer it to be similar to your own, or would you like a little variety & go completely the opposite direction? 

Perhaps there is a fantasy that a different colored toy may help you fulfill in some small way.

How should it feel against your skin?

I am all about the new softer silicone toys. 

Now that I’m 51 and peeking around the corner of menopause, the skin closest to my vagina has gotten very thin and tender, so feel is very important to me.  

Things to Consider

  • Is the material safe for your skin?   Some materials, such as latex, are not.
  • Do you prefer softer or more firm materials? 
  • Do you prefer skin-like materials or materials such as metal, glass, or plastic?

Lube is also helpful when using toys; our favorite is the Swiss Navy brand; it’s a water-based lubricant, but as with most lubes, we know that darker sheets leave oil-type stains.  

We also LOVE their Cleaner; it smells unique, cuts the lube, and makes it easy to wipe off; it can also be used on yourself.

How strong should the vibrations be?

Most inexperienced toy users may think the stronger the vibration, the better, but that’s not always the case, at least in my experience. Vibrators for women come in many different speeds and strengths.

If it has too high of a start vibration, it causes me to get overly sensitive and takes much longer versus having a low rumble option to kick things off & add speed, thrust, or rotation as you need it. 

Most toys today have variable speed & a large portion have app-driven features that your partner can drive right next to you or from another world.

How Much Does Noise Matter?

David and I live alone, so the noise doesn’t matter, but we travel a lot to dance competitions & hotel walls are thin at best.

Often, we know many people in rooms near us, so we tend not to take louder, more powerful options on the road with us.

Check out the noise level of the toys you’re considering and their use.

We may go to dinner with ben wah balls on board that vibrate, but I don’t want the people beside us wondering what that noise is.

You might need a lock feature that, if packed in a suitcase, can’t be accidentally turned on.

What Size Do You Prefer?

Size Matters, right? I used to love a large flesh-colored dildo, but these days, not so much.

The skin is getting thinner & the cervix is getting more tender, so I don’t need a mandingo warrior to take care of business anymore; it simply hurts.

On the flip side, I want & need to feel a little girth.  Therefore, I tend to like them on the thicker, shorter side these days.

Do you have mobility restrictions or other physical issues to consider?

When choosing a vibrator,  mobility can matter.

As we progress, arthritis is inevitable for most people, but that shouldn’t keep us from getting the same pleasure we’ve known our entire adult life.

I have connective tissue disease and pretty bad arthritis in much of my body. Alongside already having a hip replacement at 45 & an SI joint fusion at 49, so trust I know about physical issues.

These days, I go for lighter-weight toys with bendable features, which allow a hand-free experience, so I do not focus on the pain it causes to hold it if I’m having a bad day.

Most higher-end selections offer app-driven programs where a partner can set different combinations to change the stimulation so you don’t have to fumble with the buttons.

What else is important to you when choosing a vibrator?

Be thinking about if you like more clitoral, vaginal, or combination stimulation.

Do you prefer more of a flatter clitoral contact or a more prominent, angular one for a less sensitive clitoris?

Is vaginal penetration important to you, or could you live without it? A bullet type may best suit you if insertion isn’t vital.

I want both, but it must be clitoral stimulation. I haven’t been successful with vaginal orgasm YET, but we are working on that! Does simultaneous anal and vaginal stimulation get your rocks off?

There are so many choices today that every desire can be fulfilled if you know your body!

How to Choose a Vibrator: Conclusion

By now, I’m hoping that, if nothing else, this guide has made you think about what it is you genuinely like or even dislike.

Maybe this is the first time you’ve ever asked yourself what you want from your toy playtime.

Perhaps initially, you came here looking for something for yourself but found something interesting for a partnership or vice versa.

Hopefully, this will make you more open to exploring different things and remove any prejudices or stereotypes when choosing a vibrator.

Disclosure: Some of the links in this article may be affiliate links, which can provide compensation to me at no cost to you if you decide to purchase a paid plan. These are products I’ve personally used and stand behind. This site is not intended to provide financial advice and is for entertainment only. You can read our affiliate disclosure in our privacy policy.

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